The Summer of '98 Read online

  “We did it, Els. We got the apartment.”

  “We should celebrate.”

  He agreed with enough volume that his mother heard but then he leaned in and with a hushed whisper, his voice raspy and seductive beside my ear, said, “We will, baby.”

  I almost choked as he set me down. It was typical that he kept a straight face as though he hadn’t said a thing at all and left me to blush and feel flustered.

  “You’ll both need to do some furniture shopping before Ellie gets too big to decorate,” Eleanor said from where she sat at the table. “You can’t put the bed and drawers on a plane.”

  “It’d be best to do it as soon as possible,” Leroy agreed, his arm was still rested around my waist. “Before classes start on the twenty-fourth. That’s only two weeks from now.”

  I felt a bit overwhelmed at the sudden bout of plans that were being made. But it was a good overwhelming. We had a lot to do—we needed to arrange a moving date, go furniture shopping, and get comfortable before Leroy became swamped with college classes and football. Not to mention that I needed to mentally prepare to be a full-time mother to twins.

  “I’m going to redecorate that spare room and put the old cribs in there. For when those grandbabies come and stay with me,” Eleanor stood and laughed with excitement as she strolled out of the kitchen.

  Leroy looked down at me when we were alone again, his elation evident in the softness of his stare. He really did look at me as though I were a prize.

  “How do you do it?” he murmured, his fingertips grazing my forehead as he slowly traced my face and tucked my hair behind my ear.

  “Do what?”

  “I swear, Els, I look at you and I feel my heart expanding in my chest. I have never felt anything like it before.”

  Then it was my turn to wonder how he did it to me. He delivered these words without flinching. He didn’t seem shy or nervous. He was bold and declared his love for me with so much sincerity that he didn’t even need to use the word love—I still felt it.

  My mother was wrong about him. He wasn’t trouble. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. And although our circumstances weren’t complication-free, I wouldn’t change a thing. We were forever. I knew it.

  Ellie

  “—and then we—”

  “Leroy, stop!”

  “What? I’m telling them about the first night that we met. Every child should hear their parents’ love story.”

  “First of all, they’re not even born. Second, I think that we can skip the finer details.”

  Leroy laughed and nodded with agreement. We were lying beside each other in our new bed, in our new apartment. We had been here for two weeks and this was his first weekend as an official college student. He’d done well during his first few classes. He worried about me a lot and kept calling throughout the day, interrupting me trying to settle us into our new home. But it was safe to say that we adored living together in our little apartment.

  It was still early, so we hadn’t left our bed yet. He’d proceeded to tell my stomach the tale about the night that we’d met. He believed it was good to talk to the babies. And what better story to tell them than our one-night stand? Personally, I think that he just liked to reminisce. As did I. It was an exquisite memory.

  Because I hadn’t been able to bring any of my old bedroom décor from Momma’s house, I’d had to start from scratch in our new bedroom. There were a few things from Leroy’s house—sentimental items such as trophies, framed football jerseys, and some childhood memorabilia that lived on his desk. A piggy bank, figurines, and toy cars. As soon as we’d arrived, I’d gone to the thrift store and found several band posters, a CD rack, some plastic plants, and a couple of vinyl records. It was an updated version of the room that I loved at home. It was more minimal but still full of the things that I loved, including Leroy’s contribution. It was representative of both of our interests, which made it more special.

  “Everyone will be here soon,” I reminded Leroy as he rolled me onto my side and spooned me.

  The family was coming to see our new place for the first time and to go watch Leroy’s football game that night. They’d arrived last night and stayed in a hotel because we didn’t have the room to put them up. Eleanor, Jacob, Noah, and even Cass were coming for lunch, and I couldn’t wait to see them all and show them what we’d done with the apartment.

  “How are you feeling about the game tonight?” I asked.

  His breath tickled my neck as he spoke from behind me. “Confident, for the most part. Nervous for the other.”

  “You’ve been training so hard, I’m sure it’ll go well.”

  “Mmmm.”

  I rolled over so that I could see him, and even though he smiled, there was this hint of concern hidden deep within the features that I was so familiar with. “What’s wrong?”

  “No, nothing. I just want to do well, you know. Especially when my dad will be there watching. He’s been preparing me for this my entire life. Not in a forceful way or anything.”

  “I know what you mean.”

  “Even if I feel like I’m prepared and my plays are solid and everything is perfect, it’s impossible to know what the other team is going to bring. I just want to do as well as my dad believes I can.”

  There was something sincerely beautiful about his vulnerability, something inspiring. “He already knows how much the game means to you and how much of your heart goes into it. Win or lose, he’ll still believe you’re the best.”

  He looked down at me, his eyes scrunched up because his smile was so big.

  “What?”

  “You’re going to be the sweetest mom,” he said and pulled us even closer together. “Can’t wait to hear you give our kids cute little motivational speeches.”

  My excitement grew. I’d never thought about it like that before. “I can literally not wait for that! But what if I screw it up? What if I give terrible advice?”

  “Stop,” he groaned with amusement; meanwhile, my excitement had turned into panic. “You’re not going to give terrible advice. You’re already too good at it. And besides, moms have instincts. You’ll know what to tell them when the time comes.”

  “Ooh. You’re pretty good at it too,” I said.

  He kissed my forehead. “We make a good team, don’t we?”

  “The best.”

  We pulled ourselves out of bed not long after that. We’d showered, changed, and had just vacuumed when the doorbell rang. It hadn’t been long since we’d seen everyone, but the greetings commenced as if it had been a decade.

  “The apartment looks beautiful,” Eleanor said, sweeping inside after she’d crushed me in a vice-like hug. The front door opened into the kitchen/dining area. We had enough room for a small round table and a shelf where I kept a few houseplants for decoration. A wide arched entryway gave a generous view of the living area. It was almost an open plan design aside from the half wall cutting between the rooms.

  “Cozy, isn’t it?” Jacob closed the door behind him while Cass and I hugged.

  Leroy laughed. “Cozy is code word for small.”

  “You’re eighteen, darling,” Eleanor said. “Anything of your own is wonderful.”

  “Hey,” Leroy raised his hands. “I’m not complaining. We love it here.”

  “We do,” I said.

  “It’s not bad,” Noah mumbled, looking around. The kitchen seemed to have shrunk with all the extra people standing in it. “Sort of plain. Hang some art up or something, maybe.”

  “I’m getting there,” I defended as Cass slipped her arm through mine.

  “Ignore him and give us a tour. This place is adorable. I’m totally jealous.”

  There wasn’t a whole lot to show them, but I led the way, taking a few short steps into the living area where our lovely blue sofa that Leroy and I had chosen together w
as against the wall, and beside it was a single armchair. We had a small television on a wooden cabinet, a matching coffee table, and some framed photos of Leroy and me above the gas heater.

  We moved into the corridor and paused briefly at our bedroom. There was something strange about showing a group of people where I slept every night. Or . . . did other things.

  “And this is the twins’ room,” I said as I swung the door open on the last stop of our small tour. Eleanor, Jacob, Cass, and Noah shuffled over the threshold and glanced around at the new furniture that I had put together.

  Okay, that’s a lie.

  Leroy had put it together, but I put it where I wanted it and added all the little bits of décor. The fluffy rug on the floor. The adorable colorful canvases. The trinkets on the shelves and the wall stickers of enchanting animals and Winnie-the-Pooh. Of course. I loved Winnie-the-Pooh in kids’ bedrooms. This is the room that I’d given the most attention to, which is probably why Noah had commented on the lack of décor elsewhere.

  Our landlord told us that we weren’t allowed to paint the walls, which was a bummer, but it wasn’t the worst thing. The neutral cream color with indented pattern was suitable just the way it was. I was certain that our time would come to purchase our own home and then we could decorate as we pleased.

  “You’ve done so well,” Eleanor said as she ran a hand along the top of the new pine cribs.

  We were well prepared, considering I was only fifteen weeks along. We still had a while until the twins arrived, but that couldn’t stop me from setting up now. I loved having things organized.

  Jacob pointed at the recliner Leroy and I had chosen. He smiled and wandered toward it before he sat down and sighed. “This is a good chair.” He gave us a thumbs-up.

  “You’d know what a good recliner is, wouldn’t you?” Eleanor teased her husband.

  Noah and Cass were in the corner having an argument about something that had been ongoing for the duration of the tour. I smiled at Leroy and he nodded with understanding before I strolled toward Cass, who had her back to me and startled with a jump when I touched her shoulder. She turned around and smiled, ignoring Noah, who was pouting.

  “Look at this bump,” she sang and bent over, almost hugging my stomach. “I can’t wait to cuddle them!”

  I put a hand over hers and laughed. “Come and help me with lunch?”

  “Sure.”

  We left Noah and the others to chat, their voices becoming quieter as we entered the kitchen. Despite being in another part of the house, we still had to keep our volume down if we didn’t want to be heard. The walls were thin, and unlike the Laheys’ home, we didn’t have a lot of space to create distance.

  “Cass, what’s going on with Noah?” I interrogated her as I opened the fridge and began to retrieve different produce for sandwiches.

  She lifted her slim frame onto the lip of the countertop and sighed. “We’re just . . . arguing.”

  “I can see that,” I said. “About what?”

  “Coming here from Castle Rock, I’ve seen how far I’m going to be from Noah when he starts college at Baylor. I dunno. I felt a little . . . upset about it?”

  I mulled over her words as I sliced a tomato into small cubes and threw them into a serving dish. “I mean, it’s his college choice. You can’t get mad at him for going to college, Cass.”

  She pressed her lips into a tight line. She knew that I was right.

  “Come with him?” I suggested. “Or do long distance. It wouldn’t be the end of the world.”

  “I couldn’t do long distance.” She shook her head as she stared down at her fingers twiddling in her lap. “Not with him.”

  “How come?”

  “It’s him,” she said. “He’s devious and college girls would be all over him.”

  “You don’t trust him?”

  “Would you?”

  “No,” I said. “But I wouldn’t date someone that I don’t trust either.”

  Her shoulders slumped in obvious disappointment. I hated to be the bearer of bad news. But she needed to hear it. I wasn’t going to coddle her and support a relationship she wasn’t comfortable in. If she was happy and had no second thoughts about the commitment, then I would be thrilled for her. But that wasn’t the case—that much was obvious.

  “I can’t go to Baylor anyway,” she said and tucked a leg under her bum. “I’m not smart enough. Senior year is already way hard, and it’s only just started.”

  “It’s all about your attitude.” I gave her a bop on the nose with a cucumber. “You have to work with your circumstances, and any situation is as good as you make it.”

  She tilted her head to the side and fixed me with a bored expression. “You do remember having a full-blown meltdown when you found out that you were pregnant, right?”

  I laughed and handed her a carrot and the grater. My kitchen skills hadn’t improved much, but I could prepare vegetables.

  “Yes, I remember having a meltdown. But I’m making lemonade with lemons. I’m choosing to embrace and be grateful.”

  “That’s easy for you to say,” she mumbled and hopped off the countertop. “Your boyfriend worships you and his mother can’t wait to be a grandma. It’s easy for you.”

  “Cass,” I turned to her with a soft sigh. “I haven’t spoken to my mom in a month. She hit me and wants nothing to do with me. I mean, I’m so fortunate to have the support that I do, I’m not taking any of that for granted. But it’s still been hard.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her cheeks a shade darker than her natural blush. “That was insensitive. I think I’m projecting. It’s not your fault.”

  My heart hurt for her. As it did when it came to Noah—she deserved more. But unless she was willing to make a change, then I couldn’t help her. Those choices were her own.

  “How are things with your mom?” I changed the subject, though it might not have been a less painful one.

  “The same. She wasn’t even home on the first morning of school. Senior year and she was out. Not that I’m surprised.”

  “Where was she?”

  “At her new boyfriend’s.”

  “Another new one?”

  Cass gave a small exhausted nod. “He’s okay. He’s nice, I guess. I’ve learned not to take my frustration out on them. It’s not their fault my mom is a deadbeat.”

  “That’s gracious of you.”

  “Tiff told me that I should sleep with him to get back at my mom.” I stared at Cass with alarm. “I’m not going to,” she said. “But I probably would if I was single. It’s kind of a good idea. It’d be funny too.”

  My next words surprised me. “Tell Tiff to do it.”

  Cass and I burst into a bout of giggles. “She probably would if she wasn’t dating some college dude that she met in Florida over the summer.”

  “Bummer.”

  Cass’s amusement subsided and she sighed. “It wouldn’t even matter if I did do that to Mom. She’d just move on to the next man in five minutes. She hasn’t lasted with one of them for more than three months since Jamie left.”

  “Maybe she’s never recovered after losing him. She might be trying to recreate what she had with him, but it doesn’t work because the way she loved your dad was so intense. It’s kind of awful if you think about it. Momma’s never dated again, either. Well, not that I know of. I doubt she’d tell me anyway, but people cope with grief in different ways.”

  Cass stared at nothing; her gaze was distant as if she was contemplating what I had said. Perhaps she was realizing that she had more in common with her mom than she realized. It certainly seemed like they’d both given their hearts to undeserving men and didn’t know how to get them back.

  Having said all of that, it made me think of Momma in a similar sense. Perhaps she was stuck in her grief too. She’d fallen in love and had been left behi
nd to clean up the mess, raise the child, sacrifice everything just so that she could raise me. I’d accused her of being jealous, but maybe, she really was just scared that I’d be left in the same way that she’d been: heartbroken by the father of my child.

  We set lunch out on our small table. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough room for us all to sit. So we piled our plates up with food and wandered into the living area to sit on the sofa or floor. This wasn’t how Eleanor and Jacob were used to dining, but there were no complaints from either of them as they huddled on the couch and ate.

  I had barely had a mouthful of food when the doorbell started ringing and I paused, glancing around with confusion as Leroy jumped up and strolled toward the door with a knowing smile. I watched him with puzzlement from where I sat on the love seat, and when he swung the door open and revealed Eric and Amber, I gasped with excitement.

  “What?”

  “Surprise!” Amber shouted as the two of them wandered in and gave brief waves to the family. I started to stand up, but she waved in dismissal. “Stay there, Momma. Look at that bump. It’s adorable.”

  Despite her protests, I stood up and beelined straight for Eric, embracing him in a crushing hug. He seemed startled for a moment, but being Eric, he didn’t hesitate for long and he squeezed me back. “Thank you for calling Eleanor,” I leaned back. If he hadn’t snitched on me, I might still have been miserable at home, scanning adoption catalogs and sobbing over heartbreak.

  “Of course, sweetheart,” he winked. “Someone had to save these ones,” he gave me a light poke in the stomach. Amber shuffled Eric to the side so that we could have a quick cuddle.

  Eric and Amber were doing well at Emory together. Both of them lived on campus and had made a small group of friends. I realized that I needed to phone Amber more often so that I could keep up with the finer details of her life. She was my best friend, and I’d been so wrapped up in the pregnancy and having my life turned upside-down that I hadn’t seen any of the girls from school in a while. I needed to do better.